Behavior 101

It’s about that in the school year that parents start getting phone calls home. An example of a phone call might be, “Ms. Ivanov, your son spends a lot of time talking to classmates instead of doing his work. Can you please come in so that we can discuss your son’s behavior?”

I haven’t gotten a phone call yet but I have started to receive notes about my child’s behavior.  We have only been in school for 2 weeks and every week I have received a detailed handwritten progress report on my child’s ability to follow classroom rules.

As a mother this unsettles me in many ways probably because I have been raised by good Soviet parents, who value the ability to follow rules, especially in a school setting. As a mother, I wonder why this is so important that she needs to be evaluated weekly on this issue.  I question, is this is a reflection on me as a parent or us as family?

Often as a counselor working in schools, mostly having to handle the kids that didn’t behave; I wondered do we as educators spend too much time and energy trying to get our students to follow school rules?  I think we owe it to our students to focus primarily on what they have learned.  If our students are engaged in learning, then problematic behaviors seem to fade away.

In the end as parents we must remember every behavior good or bad serves a purpose for the child. Remember that if and when you get note about behavior from your child’s school.

Veronica Vyazovsky LCPC is in private practice as a counselor and learning behavior specialist and founder of Mosaic Therapy. Mosaic Therapy helps diverse family’s access high quality and innovative pediatric therapy services.