It is worth repeating that the best way to deal with a bully is by avoiding him/her. When avoidance is not possible, then you need to use your verbal self-defense skills to try and defuse the situation. This takes some practice, and is worth taking the time to practice with a friend or family member acting as the bully. Work on a few lines you can say loudly and with confidence, and hopefully it will get the bully to back down.
However, if despite your best efforts to talk this person out of continuing to harass and insult you, the bully ignores you, or worse, tries to physically grab or harm you, then you need to make a decision – whether or not you are going to defend yourself. Many people would chose to simply take the abuse and hope for the best, assuming that anything they do will just make matters worse. This tactic may work and the bully may get bored and leave you alone – but the bully could also continue to harass you, or worse, hurt you.
If you decide to defend yourself, keep in mind that the objective is to use the least amount of force necessary to allow you to get away, or keep the bully from hurting you, not “win” or beat up the bully.
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Let’s say the bully reaches out to grab you, with your hands up you can deflect the grab with your lead arm, as you step quickly diagonally past the bully, allowing you to get away. This is ideal because it is very quick.
What if the bully is too fast for you (or catches you by surprise) and uses both hands to grab your shirt or jacket, and shoves you against a locker/wall. While you no longer have your stance, your hands should still be up (which will likely happen instinctively). From this position you have many options, but here are two that don’t require striking. If the bully has you pushed up against the locker and has his/her face close to yours, use your left hand to hook over the bully’s right wrist, and you take your right hand and put it against the side of the bully’s head. As you pull down on the right wrist, you simultaneously turn to your left as you push against the head, allowing you to get out of the way as the bully is forced into the locker/wall. This should surprise the bully as he/she crashes into the locker, allowing you to escape.
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The other option would be if the bully has grabbed you, but has his/her arms somewhat outstretched. The first hand hook is the same, but your right forearm will now be used against the bully’s left arm; as you quickly pull down on the right wrist, you are also forcefully slamming your forearm into his/her left arm, as you spin to the left and help them into the wall.
If you find that the bully has not let go (which is always possible, depending on many factors), I would add a soccer kick to the shins, as it can cause a lot of pain with just a minimum of force (think of the time you bumped your shin on something and how much that hurt), which should result in your being released.
These are just a few ideas for dealing with a bully, or anyone for that matter, who tries to attack you. Hopefully by avoiding the use of strikes, when possible, you can also avoid being suspended if the matter gets reported to the principal. I will be teaching a Teen Self-Defense course for Vernon Township on January 18, 2014 from 10 am to 12pm, so if you want to practice techniques like these, or learn some others, be sure to sign up!
