This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

HOW TO DEAL WITH A BULLY WITHOUT RESORTING TO VIOLENCE

It seems that there are more and more stories of kids getting bullied at school and online.  It’s sad enough that bullying happens when kids are at school, but to have to also deal with it online when everyone is so connected through social media, it is easy to understand how it can become an overwhelming problem.  I am certainly no expert on this subject, and therefore will not suggest that I have an easy solution to what is clearly a complex problem.

However, I have read several tips from others which seem to make sense, and which I strongly urge kids to try, since resorting to self-defense (no matter how justified it may be), can create more trouble, especially since most schools these days have a “zero tolerance” policy towards violence (even when you clearly act defensively).

 - If you are being bullied, the best advice is to simply avoid the bully.  By avoiding the bully you will not have to tolerate their behavior, and will avoid a situation which could escalate into a physical attack;

Find out what's happening in Buffalo Grovewith free, real-time updates from Patch.

 - When avoidance is not possible, and you are verbally attacked or insulted by the bully, there are a few options that you can try to defuse the situation:

1)      Talk to the person. Tell them in a strong and firm voice that you are not happy with their actions. Tell them to stop calling you names, that you don’t like it, and that you want them to leave you alone.  Basically you need to tell them the words or actions they are using which are bothering you and that you want it stop.

Find out what's happening in Buffalo Grovewith free, real-time updates from Patch.

2)      If this step doesn’t work, then you need to tell an adult or teacher.  Someone needs to be told about the problem, so they can be aware of it and hopefully help you get it resolved.

3)      However, if these steps still do not resolve the bullying, then you will need to be more verbally defensive the next time you are approached, by telling the bully that you are tired of their taunts, and that you are not afraid of them, that you are ready and willing to defend yourself, and that they need to leave you alone.  It should be pointed out that if the student gets to this option, the strong defiant language could lead to the bully trying to physically intimidate or attack the student. 

In my opinion, it is important that any person who is encountering serious and regular bullying should learn self-defense for two reasons.  The first is so that you have the confidence to stand up to the bully and tell them to leave you alone, which hopefully does the trick.  However, if avoidance and verbal self-defense doesn’t work, and a student is grabbed, attacked or physically threatened, then the student should have the tools and knowledge to use the right amount of force to escape the situation and get to safety.  Additionally, a student with these skills and tools can also help keep his friends from being bullied.

I will address possible self-defense techniques you can use against a bully in the next article.

Until then stay safe and strong.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?