Not My Time Syndrome

A new syndrome that is hitting suburban women faster than chocolate goes to their thighs! Find out how to stop this plague before it hits your house.

Over the last few months I have been training to be a life coach. I was required to practice interviewing individuals in order to complete my training. Instead of bothering strangers on the street, I instead bothered the people that I bother most, my friends.  In every single practice interview I heard some version of the statement, “It’s just not my time right now.” WHAT??? It appears that a lot of women out there are suffering from the debilitating NOT MY TIME SYNDROME.  When might I ask is your time? How long is your life? Do you know for a fact that you will still be here tomorrow? What are you waiting for, arthritis, dementia, bad backs, wrinkles, and constant talk about your health problems until it’s your time?

Sisters, life is short, act now or regret it. What is it that makes you want to fly out of bed in the morning and take on that day? Don’t even think of telling me that its packing lunches, laundry, running errands, or another horrid PTO meeting! I won’t believe you. I’m not at all suggesting that these things can be avoided but I’m wondering when was the last time you felt that wonderful feeling of accomplishment, commitment, and pure passion to something that you cared about greatly? If your answer is as old as the Bee Gees then it is time to make some changes. 

First, ask yourself these questions; when I was young what did I want to be when I grew up? If I didn’t have to worry about caring for kids, a home, a spouse, what would I do with my time? What am I planning to do when it is “my time”? Does my day often feel excessively busy but ultimately empty as well? Am I starting to believe that the “Housewives of" (fill in any of the shows) are decent human beings?

Next, ask yourself is there any way I can incorporate some of my passions into my current life? Can I find an hour a day to do something just for myself (Botox doesn’t count)? How am I using the responsibilities of my family as an excuse to not do something that is entirely meaningful to just me? How much more energy will I have in the day if I am doing a number of things that are important to me? 

Next, watch your own responses and reactions. How many excuses can you come up with to not prioritize your own well being? Do they sound like this, “my kids just can’t get through the day without me”, “if I let my husband help out, he’ll mess things up”, “good mothers devote all of their attention to their families at all times”,  or the most depressing of all, “I’m just too tired to fit any more into my day.” If any of these responses or excuses sounds familiar, you too are suffering from NOT MY TIME SYNDROME! The good news is that it’s not too late to save yourself. 

Here’s what I know your kids don’t need, they don’t need you focusing all of your attention on them at all times and they don’t need you to be a martyr! What they really need is a mom who is happy, strong, fulfilled, energetic, and able to prioritize herself as well as her family. Give yourself and your family the gift of a really well lived life by you RIGHT NOW! Go take that cooking class, or write your book, or get a part time job, or volunteer at a woman’s shelter, or work at Starbucks where everybody is happy. Your time is right this minute and there isn’t a minute to spare.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Cristel Mohrman November 09, 2011 at 07:31 PM
This is great advice, Lisa - and thanks for the diagnosis! Your first post was a hit! I look forward to reading more on your blog!
Lisa Kaplin November 09, 2011 at 07:46 PM
Thanks for all the support, feedback, and sharing of my blog. It's good to know that I'm not the only woman in town who is looking to recover from the NOT MY TIME syndrome. I'll address cure options and ideas in my upcoming blogs. It's so wonderful to connect with all of you!
Crystal Maleski November 09, 2011 at 09:58 PM
Great article. What women also forget is our children are watching us live our lives. If we want them to pursue their passions, to excell, to contribute we can first model those qualities by living our lives in the same manner that we would want them to. I have my own business and am excited to share my progress with my kids. You will help many women by helping them find their passions and pursue them!
Dana Tuchman Kaynes February 01, 2012 at 01:56 AM
how can i get your emails or blogs?
Lisa Kaplin March 01, 2012 at 08:16 PM
Hi Dana, I just saw your note. You can get both/either from my web site www.smartwomeninspiredlives.com which should be going live in the next few hours!


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